Yelling About Life!

growing up sucks

2011-11-22T11:21:00.002-05:00

I miss when this blog was the most important part of my day. Considering reviving it, not that anyone ever read it to begin with, it was just fun to yell into the howl of the wind just to say I had.

Pretension: It can happen to you.

2007-10-27T20:10:00.000-04:00

Pitchfork Gives Music 6.8

CHICAGO—According to the review, the popular medium that predates the written word shows promise but nonetheless "leaves the listener wanting more."

God, how I love the Onion. Pitchfork, for those who don't know, is known for giving extremely harsh and pretentious reviews for albums, and they rate them on a 10 point scale, including decimals. And if you're an indie kid, you probably take Pitchfork's opinion into way too much consideration. Not that I'm not guilty... the first place I use to check out a review is Pitchfork, and if they say it's bad then I usually believe them. Except in the case of Neutral Milk Hotel's "In The Aeroplane Over The Sea", in which they gave them a perfect 10, and I really don't like it very much. Anyways, read the article.

The cat's out of the bag!

2007-10-21T09:45:00.000-04:00

DUMBLEDORE IS GAY!

OH MY GOD!

I AM SO ASTONISHED AND REPULSED! THIS RUINS MY OPINION OF THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS! WHAT A TRAGEDY THAT A CHILDREN'S BOOK SHOULD BE INFILTRATED BY REALITY! EWWW, GAY PEOPLE! I CAN'T STAND THE IDEA OF ACCEPTANCE OF OTHERS! J.K. ROWLING JUST WANTS ATTENTION AND IS BEING TOO POLITICAL! ART HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH POLITICS!

How ridiculous do these opinions sound? Well, they're a lot of the opinions given as comments on the following article: http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2007/10/rowling-outs-du.html

I find it tragic that parents are raising children who are as intolerant as they are. So what if J.K. Rowling saw Dumbledore as gay in her mind? I personally never saw that coming, but it's her series. She can do whatever the hell she wants. Second, one of the purposes of literature and art is to show what is wrong with society, to reflect and to demand change. And who better than someone like J.K. Rowling, who has power over millions of youth? Harry Potter teaches tolerance, love, and also to question the establishment (Ministry of Magic : denial about Voldemort :: today's society/government : denial about gays). So. Take that.

Is Having Two Times As Many Wives Okay If We Live Two Times Longer?

2007-10-19T22:30:00.001-04:00

So this is a continuation of a conversation Less and I had that we thought would be worth yelling about.
But first I must apologize for my prolonged absence, summer tends to be an intellectual dry spell for me. Now, I'm back and ready to rant.
Now, down to business. The question is, should new world marriages be subject to or judged by old world morals?
If you think about it, it's a lot easier to uphold a vow to love and cherish your significant other when you only expect to live to 40, rather than 80.
It really says a lot that 90% of Americans believe adultery to be morally wrong, but 22% of men and 14% of women admit to having an affair. Oh thats right, I just remembered, we as Americans are inherently hypocrites.
If you are able to set aside what you have been force fed since birth, monogamy simply isn't part of the human nature.
According to the US census bureau's world population clock as of midnight Oct 18/19 (sidebar, which side does midnight fall on?) we have reached the mind boggling number of 6,625,740,431 people. Why limit ourselves to just one?
In the age when the ethics of marriage were developed, people were limited in their choices in a mate; often bound to their, or nearby, villages. Now, we can hop on planes and get to three dates, on three continents, in three days.
This is where I will leave it for now, its only fair I give Less a chance to chime in.

A Polygamous Future

2007-10-19T17:40:00.000-04:00

When I observe the world around me today, I see a world that is changing. "How very obvious," you might say, but our world is changing at such a rapid pace that we are finding it increasingly difficult to keep up. The wealth of information available to us is currently doubling less than every five years, and by 2020 it is projected that knowledge will double every 73 days. From this, it can be concluded that the people we are, our personalities and beliefs and hobbies, will change just as rapidly as a result. My computer tells me that iTunes has to be updated just about every month and my cell phone is outdated despite being only about a year old. With some tapping upon a keyboard and the click of a button, our sense of individual, our perception of self, can be changed on MySpace or Facebook. If we want to be someone else to others, we simply say what we are, and in an instant we have taken on a new persona. Instant gratification and instantaneous change have become the standard of our society.

Now, given this, it would seem necessary that the institution of marriage must change along with everything else. Why? Because if one person can change so fast, it is highly unlikely that their spouse will change in a similar or compatible fashion. It is also more likely that spouses are in very different environments despite being married, and will change accordingly. For example, Mr. and Mrs. Jones may be married and live in the same home with the same children, but for the majority of the day Mr. Jones works at his urban business firm. Mrs. Jones remains in the suburbs, running errands, or perhaps has a job of her own closer to their home. Mr. Jones becomes more and more like his corporate peers, but Mrs. Jones is in an entirely different environment. After five, seven, ten years of marriage they are nothing like the people they were when they took their vows.

So now what? It seems that logically (and almost tragically) that to have one spouse is both impossible and irrational. A few statistics to leave you with...

In America, 11% of adults are currently divorced, and 1 in 4 adults has been divorced in their lifetime.
Interestingly enough, rates of divorce for conservative Christians are significantly higher than that of other faiths (http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm).
Baby boomers (33 to 52 years of age) - 34% have been divorced
Builders (53 to 72 years of age) - 37%
Seniors (above 72 years of age) - 18%
My personal favorite: red states have a divorce rate 27% higher than blue states.

Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock (!)

2007-08-12T22:23:00.000-04:00

My excitement is just overwhelming. The speculated tracklist for 2008's GH3 is as follows:

"3's and 7's" – Queens of the Stone Age
"Barracuda" – Heart
"Cherub Rock" – Smashing Pumpkins
"Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll" – Blue Öyster Cult
"Cult of Personality" – Living Colour
"Even Flow" – Pearl Jam
"Knights of Cydonia" – Muse
"La Grange" – ZZ Top
"Lay Down" – Priestess
"The Metal" – Tenacious D
"Miss Murder" – AFI
"Mississippi Queen" – Mountain
"My Name Is Jonas" – Weezer
"The Number of the Beast" – Iron Maiden
"One" – Metallica
"Paint It, Black" – The Rolling Stones
"Paranoid" – Black Sabbath
"Raining Blood" – Slayer
"Reptilia" – The Strokes
"Rock and Roll All Nite" – Kiss
"Rock You Like a Hurricane" – Scorpions
"Sabotage" – Beastie Boys
"School's Out" – Alice Cooper
"She Builds Quick Machines" – Velvet Revolver
"Slow Ride" – Foghat
"Suck My Kiss" – Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Through the Fire and Flames" – DragonForce
"Welcome to the Jungle" – Guns N' Roses

As a self-proclaimed Guitar Hero lunatic I must give my professional opinion. First off, I have been saying that "Rock You Like A Hurricane" was a perfect GH song for a very long time, and I'm inclined to think that Activision is capitalizing off of my conversations with my brother on this matter. I'm going to sue. Second, I hate Pearl Jam and am very disappointed by the placement of such blasphemy on the tracklist. Third, AFI is an emo band and therefore NOT a "Legend of Rock" (as the title of the game promises). Not that I can't appreciate some melodrama here and there; I'm actually somewhat of a fan of AFI. It's just that alongside Guns N' Roses or the Rolling Stones, those tight pants, high-pitched wails, and girlishly lined eyes seem out of place.

But! Despite what I believe to be a few shortcomings, I'm pretty elated with the selections. "Sabotage"! "Cherub Rock"!! Muse!!! "SUCK MY KISS"!!!!

!!!!!!!!

According to Wikipedia, which is without any doubt the most correct source of information ever, Slash will be an available character in the game, but they're getting rid of Pandora and Clive Winston. That's really not very important to me, though, so long as they have Casey Lynch, who kicks virtual guitar ass. I could kick real guitar ass, if I only spent as much time practicing my real guitar as I do developing Carpal Tunnel via GH2. I am so hardxcore.

For fellow fans of Guitar Hero...

2007-08-01T15:48:00.000-04:00

Activision Reports Sluggish Sales For Sousaphone Hero

SANTA MONICA, CA— "I played in career mode for hours and kept feeling like I was playing the same annoying circus tune over and over," complained a disappointed gamer.

Chris Cornell: Reading, PA 7.28.07

2007-07-29T14:39:00.000-04:00

Last night I saw one of the greatest voices of rock of all time: Chris Cornell. It was a really great show, as I expected, with a whopping 24-song setlist of Audioslave, Soundgarden, Temple of the Dog, and some solo stuff. Not only was his performance great, the venue was nice too. It was at the Sovereign Performing Arts Center in Reading, PA, with very nice velvety seats. The seats are important. Quite different from the bar-like setting of the Electric Factory.

Almost as exciting as Chris's (we're on a first name basis, you know) performance was that of Earl Greyhound, the opening band. Wow. They're definitely better than the band originally scheduled, Juliette and the Hot Licks. Just the name makes you cringe, right? Well, Earl Greyhound rocked loudly, sassily (is this a word?), and in retro-amazing fashion. Think Wolfmother, Zeppelin, and some female vocals thrown into a blender. From left to right (see picture), they are Ricc Sheridan (drums), Kamara Thomas (bass, vocals), and Matt Whyte (guitar, vocals). I bought their album, Soft Targets, and I am thoroughly pleased with it. "S.O.S." starts it off right with soul-infused, ass-kicking rock... listen to it, right now.

P.S. 20th post!

harrypotterharrypotterohemgee

2007-07-23T16:04:00.000-04:00

So. I finished the book.

And... wow. That's all I can say, as I don't want to ruin it for others, but that was the most incredible book I have ever read. Brilliant. Definitely a tearjerker, but absolutely brilliant. No movie could ever, EVER do Harry Potter justice. Though I still have yet to see the most recent film, which I've heard mixed reviews about, but still. Nothing could compare to the amazingness of J.K. Rowling. I just really really hope she writes more books. I mean, I know she's set for life, but she is too much of a genius to just sit around enjoying her wealth. Please! More!

But since there are no more Harry Potter books (sob!) I've been enjoying some wizard rock. Harry and the Potters, Draco and the Malfoys... "Save Ginny Weasley" by HATP is highly recommended. Check it out.

The Fall of an Empire

2007-07-12T19:33:00.000-04:00

Would it really be so horrible if the music industry as we know it today would become insignificant and obsolete? Would it be a tragedy if the RIAA disappeared overnight? I think not. Many articles regarding this very subject have been featured in Rolling Stone in the last few months, and all seem to show the huge fall in record sales as apocalyptic. And while I understand that musicians (especially Metallica) aren't remarkably happy about losing money from record sales, there could be some benefits to this whole thing. Now before I get into my idea, I AM NOT PROMOTING THE ILLEGAL OBTAINMENT OF MUSIC. Okay, so here goes:
The year is 2015. Virtually no one buys the physical form of a compact disc anymore, because it is much, much easier to do so online in some form or another. There are still people who buy vinyl, though, because that stuff is just too cool. But anyway, since the musical artist knows this, they don't put effort into promoting the physical form of the album, they just spread the word online via MySpace, mp3 blogs, etc. The key now is promotion through word of mouth, sort of, so the money is made from live shows, merch, and promotions. I mean, that's where a band is going to make the most money anyway. And suddenly, being a successful and highly profitable musician is even harder. Thus, we have a natural selection process within the music industry, making bands even better, and probably decreasing the number of rap artists (yay!). Like we need more redundant hip-hop choruses, e.g. "This Is Why I'm Hot", "Party Like A Rockstar", "Chicken Noodle Soup". But don't get rid of TI. I like TI.

I realize this theory is flawed. Nine Inch Nails tried to promote Year Zero through mysterious internet promotion and free music for fans at shows, and I highly doubt that it was one of Trent Reznor's more successful attempts at breaking ground. Seriously, after "Closer" it was all downhill. But take indie music: doesn't sell too many CD's, mainstream society has never heard of them, but they are critically acclaimed and have rabid fans who pay money for tickets and t-shirts. Broken Social Scene, Sufjan Stevens, The Decemberists, Modest Mouse, Bloc Party, The Shins, Wilco, Arcade Fire, Bright Eyes, Sigur Ros, The National, Blonde Redhead, Spoon.

RIAA: Recording Industries Are Archaic.

66 Hotdogs. Oh. My. God.

2007-07-04T14:40:00.000-04:00

Happy Independence Day! Which means barbecues and the Nathan's hotdog eating contest. This contest, as many know, is usually won by that Takeru Kobayashi guy (Japenese) who is ridiculously skinny. Well, Mr. Kobayashi, no luck this time. Joey Chestnut beat him with 66 hotdogs in 12 minutes, compared to Kobayashi's 63. Ha. Take that, industrialized Asian nation. America has trumped you once again.

I mean, sure, it is an eating contest. But that's what us Yanks do best: eat large amounts of fattening food very quickly. Krispy Kreme doughnuts, jalepeño peppers, mayonnaise, butter, spaghetti, salad - which isn't fattening, but still - the list goes on. Despite being a sport that rewards gluttony, one of the seven deadly sins, I do have a great amount of respect for eating contest participants, also known as "gurgitators", according to Wikipedia. Because, well, what goes in must come out.

Ew.

Mmpts mmpts. Rave Music!

2007-06-14T08:55:00.000-04:00

I have found my new favorite band. They make garage rave music, and they come from the UK: Hadouken! The exclamation point is included. They've got two singles out so far, "Liquid Lives" and "That Boy That Girl", both of which make me want to dance and wave glo-sticks violently. The chorus to "Liquid Lives" clearly proclaims "I wanna drink drink drink, smoke, f*ck, fight," so you best be listening to it and watching the video for "That Boy That Girl" on YouTube.

www.myspace.com/hadoukenuk

The following description pretty much covers it, as taken from their MySpace: "They are Rage Against The Machine making evil babies with The Prodigy on a knackered Pac Man machine. They are your PSP on PCP."

Yes.

The Perfect Boy

2007-06-04T12:47:00.000-04:00

I was browsing the "blogosphere" (I hate that word, I really do) when I came upon one that listed the qualities of a perfect man:

Required qualities:
Respect for himself and others at all times
Responsible and willing to accept responsibility
Honesty: liars and cheats need not apply
Loyalty: to himself, to his relationships, to his family, and to his passions

Preferred qualities:
A man that knows when to be juvenile and when to grow up
A great sense of humor, wit, and charm (no potty or racial jokes either)
A sense of natural curiosity and willingness to learn about the world around him
Time for me: I'm not high maintenance, but I do require time to have a good relationship
He must love the valley and the rain because this is my home and I love it here
Adventure: he must be willing to go out Geocaching [what is this??] with me, hiking and exploring
No smoking, little drinking: I will not be with a drunk
Physically fit: health is important, and I like nice abs, arms, and legs
Not a slob: pick up your own damn messes, I am not your slave
The ability to dance, or the willingness to learn to dance
No temper or a very long fuse. I don't like tempers that flare quickly.
A handyman, or at least somebody that knows more about home repair than I do
Tech-savvy, artistic, and musical - bonus points for any of these three!

Boy, she really does want the perfect man. Oh, there was also the disclaimer about him being straight, and while I thought that was to be assumed, she felt it needed to be specified. It was also promised that the list be updated, but I don't see how one could "fix" it. Anyway, I thought about my list of requirements/preferences, which is shorter, more random, and more superficial, in all honesty:

Greater than or equal to 5 feet, 9 inches.
Good hair. And by good I mean suitable for them, attractive, and preferably interesting or unique.
Satisfactory taste in music, meaning that any boy who listens solely to one of the following will be criticized: country, rap/hip-hop/R&B, classic rock (boring!).
Sense of humor should be clever or witty but also immature at times. So, the occasional potty, racial, or "that's what she said!" joke, if actually funny, is welcome.
Open-minded politically, socially, environmentally, religiously, etc. As Ross knows, I would prefer that they agree with the idea of global warming.
I would agree that a willingness to dance, and therefore make a complete fool of oneself, is a requirement. No one likes a stiff. And it helps if they dance relatively well, of course.
Confident. This should be the number one requirement. But these aren't in any particular order, so... this particular quality covers: not following me around like a lost dog, not being possessive, not getting jealous over silly things, the ability to take initiative.
Ability to dress oneself sufficiently.

I can't think of anything else. But I'll think of other absurd things to demand of my potential mates.

The Time 100

2007-05-23T17:47:00.000-04:00

Yes, I know. I haven't written in a very long time. But never fear, for Lessley is here. I just needed a post idea to come to me, and it of course came to me in an ordinary sort of place. I was in the waiting room at the optometrist, reading Time (what a splendid publication) when I came across their recent "Top 100 Most Influential People," or something to that effect. Well anyways, it was absolutely fascinating, and it was sorted into 5 groups: Artists and Entertainers, Leaders and Revolutionaries, Heroes and Pioneers, Scientists and Thinkers, and Builders and Titans. And Tyra Banks was listed as an influential Hero and/or Pioneer.

Yes, I know, it sounds ridiculous. Kate Moss was listed somewhere in there too, which I totally disagree with, by the way. I also disagreed when I saw Tyra Banks as one of the most influential people of this entire year. I watch America's Next Top Model religiously, and while it is most certainly entertaining television, I wouldn't go as far as to say that it is quality, or influential. But after some thought, because it was bothering me, I realized that Time was right. Banks was in the tabloids for being "fat" (see picture) and for having plus size models on the show. They weren't very good models, but that's besides the point. Honestly, I think that reality television as a whole is underrated. We all talk about how horrible it is, and how stupid, and why do people watch other people competing for dumb things, but we all watch it. From American Idol to Survivor (the original, I believe), Amazing Race, The Biggest Loser, The Bachelor(ette), The Apprentice, Big Brother, Rock Star: Supernova, Road Rules, The Real World, Supernanny (that's what I'm talking about!), Wife Swap (now that is entertainment, no kidding)... the list goes on FOREVER. But, all have broken ground, caused national debates, made us stay home to see the winner, cost us money in text message votes, etc. America's Next Top Model made the modeling community, or whatever, begin to recognize that their models were, oh-em-gee, too skinny. I think that's commendable, right? Survivor, in one recent season, split their tribes according to race or nationality: black, white, Asian, and Hispanic. Next, they should do sexual orientation: straight, lesbian, gay, and transsexual. Now there's breaking ground.

Friends Suck!

2007-05-04T22:58:00.000-04:00

Anyone who knows me has probably heard of my friend Hilton at least once, I've known and worked with him for years and he is currently our kitchen manager.
I say currently because I found out Friday night that he is quitting! This wouldn't be the first time something like this has happened but the previous two times he has decided that he was going to leave I was the first to know and things were different.
Now he's got a girlfriend that is just ruining his life but he's in love with her so he won't admit that she's bad news.
The thing that bothered me most was that i hung out with him for about two hours on Thursday and he didn't say a word about quiting then tells my dad that he's planning on leaving Friday. This is the guy that I went on the best vacation of my life with over spring break and knows me better than anyone, yes even you Lessley, sorry.
I have been to bat for him countless time and I had to be told something like this by my father.
I have been burned by people I thought to be friends many a time so it takes me a while to let down my guard down but I never thought that Hilton would hurt me.
It makes you wonder whether or not you can trust anyone in this world.

Displace Me Pics

2007-05-01T22:53:00.001-04:00

Yay! I have my displace me pics up on photo bucket so if you want to see them, go to the following link but not right here, further down

No Safe Place

2007-04-30T22:05:00.000-04:00

Okay so I was going to write about the events of this weekend, but as I was logging in, a story came on the television that I can't ignore.
As Lessley probably knows by now, a kid warming up for baseball game on Saturday at Canal Little League fields was touched inappropriately.
Now this may not seem that out of place to most people but I used to live right next to those fields and it just so happens that I was there on Saturday.
And before anybody gets the idea to make a stupid joke, the guy was between 28-38 and driving a big pickup truck with lettering on the side. Anyone who knows me knows that I drive a tiny mini cooper and I have no side burns.
But back to the point, I have two issues with this, A) is no place safe & B) where were the parents.
A) I lived literally next door to those fields not two years ago and I have known for years that that is far from a safe place. I had people try to mug me twice while I was walking through there to or from People's Plaza, I saw countless people with prostitutes in cars, condoms and needles strewn across the ground, drug dealers doing business, and even discovered a car being torched after being involved in a murder once. Why is it that in the five years that I lived there and the two years since, no one figured out that there was a problem. I know that it can be hard to help these things but how hard could it be to have a cop or people's plaza security officer do a drive through once an hour or so. Peoples plaza bought or is in the process of buying it last i heard so they should be willing to help. Don't you think some kind of authority presence would deter incidences like this.
B)Now it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you wouldn't drop your kid off at an inner city park for a few hours so why would you do it at a park that is just as bad because it was in the suburbs. The kids are obviously safe when parents or coaches are around but its not the kind of place I would like to be alone and I'm fairly capable of taking care of myself.
Anyway, I just think that his is a terrible thing that shouldn't have happened, and I'm extra concerned because I grew up around those fields.

Happy Earth Day!

2007-04-22T11:23:00.000-04:00

Would you look at that? It's Earth Day! And I thought that there was no better way to celebrate than to bombard you with my 100% organic thoughts about global warming, war, and the idiocy of the American population.

I've decided that I am going to start recycling. I never did before, mainly because I thought it would take too much time and effort. But after driving by a landfill on the way home from the King of Prussia mall, and smelling the delightful odor that accompanied it, I decided that I need to do my share to help out Mr. Earth. And you should too! Start by recycling all of your Red Bull cans (Ross...).
I'm in a serious mood to go to some kind of protest or march or picket or something. If anyone knows of some kind of organized protest that I attend, let me know. Because in today's world, there's a whole lot of complaining going on, but no one seems to want to do anything about it. I want to do something about it. Stupid people bitching about the war: "Blah blah blah President Bush sucks, I don't know why I think that, but he does, and I'm now going to show my patriotism by sitting on my lazy American ass and doing nothing." Come on people, if you don't like it, do something about it! Many people complain about the government, but don't vote. I bet more young people vote for American Idol than for government officials. More people take time out of their day to vote for Sanjaya Malakar than to actively participate in democracy. And that's stupid.
WHY DO PEOPLE DENY GLOBAL WARMING??? It's happening. Face it. Stop Global Warming. Buy a bracelet. Also, check out Simple Shoes, they're made with natural products! I think I'm going to get myself some of these.

Okay, that's all for now. And happy Earth Day.

A Video To Save The World

2007-04-19T23:22:00.000-04:00

So anybody who knows me knows that I got completely sucked into the whole Invisible Children hype, hence the banner on the right, but it never really occurred to me how completely it could change someones view of life.
So I finally got a copy of the video from Anna last week after the showing in the auditorium and watched it again in its entirety. BTW, for those getting tire of focusing entirely on IC, watch the video again and you will understand. Anyway, they give you two copies of the video so that you can share it with those who don't know, that's exactly what I did.
I loaned it to Hilton, my friend from work, yesterday and he watched it after I left. Today when I saw him at work, both he and his girlfriend were pretty pissed at me.
They weren't mad that I made them watch it, they were mad that I hadn't showed them sooner. They actually apologised for any complaining they do about their lives, it is hard to complain when you compare your life to that of the IC. (Don't worry, I'm not going to stop complaining, then you wouldn't have anything to read.)
Anyway, after watching it once, Hilton wants to have a showing in the Smyrna opera house to help raise money. I have been toying with the idea for a while but I need a Smyrna contact our age to get people to actually show up.
He also wants to go to Displace Me, but since I'm already off, he has to cover the shift.
And before anyone asks, he's constantly broke so he can't donate any money. He still owes me sixty bucks.
So yeah, that video can change the world. If you want to borrow it, let me know, I'd be more than happy to share.

CAREBEARSTARE

2007-04-18T18:55:00.001-04:00

In response to Ross's thoughts about superheroes, I must voice my personal opinion on the matter. I previously thought that Violet Parr from the Incredibles, with the power of invisibility, would be my choice (see comment on previous post). But, after much deliberation between myself and... myself... I came to the conclusion that I would rather have...

THE CAREBEARSTARE!

You have no idea how long it took to format that font. Visit xkcd.com. And, since I can't just share the excitement of pictures without deep thought to follow, I was wondering: why does society insist upon the institution of heroes? Why do humans, especially Americans, present very strong men in Spandex with bizarre powers, usually in gangs (e.g. X-Men, Fantastic Four), as being figures that we should look up to? I don't understand. It is fun to watch television shows that chronicle the adventures of these people, but why can't people just be the way that they want to be? We need the creations of Hollywood to make us say, "Wow, I want to be that"? I suppose it isn't so much a question of why we have them, as why they are the way they are. Another key feature of the "hero", as defined by my former British literature teacher, is that they have some sort of childhood hardship. This means orphan, usually. Why so far-fetched? Why can't we have Suburban Single Mother Woman With Amazing Time Management Skills? I know I want time management skills.

If I Could Be A Super Hero...

2007-04-17T22:49:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I've been a bit lazy lately, but I'm back.
As you may have noticed, the blog is now better than other.

So anyway, I was thinking today(I know, shocker), if I could be a super hero, which one would I be?
The Superman is awesome, but its so overplayed.
Aquaman is pretty cool too. I mean he can talk, and breath, under water, and talk to fish. I bet they could tell you some pretty crazy stuff. He never gets the respect he deserves.
Spiderman is alright, I mean it makes good movies, but the powers seem to come with entirely too much drama. Its the love story that no one would want to be in.
And nerds world wide would shed a tear if I didn't didn't mention the X-men. Just about any mutant above a class three would be worth having their powers, except for the toad. You have got to feel sorry for that guy.
Personally, the slightly lesser known normally challenged are my favorites. Painkiller Jane and Jake 2.0 are both really strong and heal insanely fast, but Jake gets his powers from nanites, so he can control technology too.
I'm still not to sure, but I think its between Gene from the X-men and Jake.

The world will end eventually.

2007-04-11T16:54:00.000-04:00

I have proof of this! Visual proof! I took a photograph that I am overwhelmingly proud of. 'Tis suburban cookie-cutter America, with none other than the grand view of a factory in the background, polluting the air which we breathe. Surely there are small children frolicking in their yards, pets chewing toys, or a young couple enjoying a recently purchased home. A lush green field stretches across the land. But despite the beauty, this precious home of the human race is being destroyed. I bet Al Gore would love to get his hands on this picture!

...

Okay, probably not. Al Gore, despite his good intentions, really pisses me off. I mean, sure, it was noble of him to make Inconvenient Truth, and to spread the word of science to the ignorant deniers of truth. But for Christ's sake, we all know that a little part of Al Gore wanted to boost his political status at least a little bit. And this wouldn't bother me so much except for the fact that suddenly, Al Gore has become the spokesperson, or the mascot if you will, for global warming. Many of my Republican friends (bless their little hearts!) say things like, "It's El Niño, it's the natural way of things, and besides, Al Gore is stupid." Um, since when did politicians act as representations of ideas, of facts? Yes, Al Gore is stupid. I know. But the idea that global warming is destroying planet Earth and may put us in a neverending cycle of doom is SCIENCE. Perhaps my wording is a bit exaggerated. But anyway, politicians have nothing to do with it. I don't say things like, "God doesn't exist, that's just how it is, and besides, George Bush is stupid." No. I too would agree that George Bush is stupid, but I believe in Christianity because it seems (mostly) valid to me. You could also replace "George Bush" with "Pat Robertson". Perhaps this is a bad example, because it has nothing to do with factual information, but you get the idea. Bottom line: Make judgments on the actual issues, not based on the other people who support them.

Cáisc shona daoibh

2007-04-08T16:15:00.000-04:00

Or happy Easter to those of you who have better things to do than translate an obscure language that most Irish people don't even speak anymore. Anyway, its been a couple of days since i have made an appearance so i thought I'd drop by for a quick rant.
So there's 1 and 1/2 days of freedom left until we have to return to the grueling 5:30 wake up calls and endless hours of homework and yet i already have homework, how is that possible?Why do they even bother to call it a break if we are just going to have to work on their assignments anyway?
I have much more pointless things to do with my time than school work.
If god intended me to write a paper on Easter Sunday, he wouldn't have planned it so spring break fell on Easter every year.
And for those out there that would say that this is a direct result of procrastination, You Are Wrong. My entire break has been pretty jam packed with all kinds of craziness. Friday, work. Saturday, packing. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday; awesomest camping trip ever. Thursday, resting & starting this blog. Friday & Saturday, working. Sunday, mass, family ish, & paper. And tomorrow, the last day of freedom, isn't an option because i have plans.
So yeah, that's pretty much all I have to say. Boo homework.

"I snorted my father."

2007-04-06T14:07:00.000-04:00

This is too special. Much too special to not comment on. From ABC News:

LONDON Apr 4, 2007 — Keith Richards has acknowledged consuming a raft of illegal substances in his time, but this may top them all. In comments published Tuesday, the 63-year-old Rolling Stones guitarist said he had snorted his father's ashes mixed with cocaine. "The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father," Richards was quoted as saying by British music magazine NME. "He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared," he said. "… It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive." Richards' father, Bert, died in 2002, at 84.

All I know is that Keith Richards is going to have a fun time when he dies. I can see it now: "Heyyy God, so um, yea I don't know what happened there. I'm really sorry. It was a good idea at the time. Oh Dad! Hey! So remember that one time when I snorted you? Yeah, um... sorry. I didn't think you'd mind... you minded? Oops. You went down nice, for the record..."

Edit: So, it seems that Disney isn't too happy about this. Being that Keith Richards is playing Jack Sparrow's father in Pirates of the Caribbean 3, Disney has stated that Richards won't be doing much publicity for the film, considering his... er... cannabalistic habits. Now he's claiming that it was all a joke. Psh.

Thumb Wars To Save The World

2007-04-05T21:10:00.000-04:00

Since this is my first post I should probably say hi too, so Hi.
Now that that's out of the way, I have the solution to all wars ever. For this explanation I'm going to use a hypothetical situation so try not to get confuzzled.
So say Canada got tired of people in the U.S. making fun of them for saying "aboot" so they were like "Stop making fun of us for saying 'aboot' or we will declare war on you're ass, we don't even see whats so funny aboot it." so America was like "Yo, F you, no one threatens us. Freedom of Speech bitches." Of course Canada is kind of a pussy so it hesitates for like two weeks, then declares war.
Both countries get their top people together and meet at Niagara Falls to battle it out.
Unlike most wars however, neither side brings an army, there are no air strikes, not a single gun. Just the best thumb wrestler from each nation. They duel for 72 rounds and who ever has the majority of the wins, wins the war.

For those who would wonder were i got the number 72, a few of you might have picked up on the fact that its the number of virgins that Islamic martyrs believe they will get in heaven. I thought it was appropriate considering the current political climate.

Back to the point...No death, no destruction, and no least popular president in history, just a clear U.S. victory. And yes the U.S. would win because well we have the best in everything, especially ridiculous obscure sports. It could be the end of wars as we know it.
And imagine what we could do with all the money we would save from not having to support an army.
If anyone has Bush's email address, send him the link to this site so he can end the war in Iraq. From what I can see, he doesn't have any better ideas.

Bienvenidos

2007-04-05T15:15:00.000-04:00

Wow! This is so exciting! It's a blog! Our blog! Neato!
Welcome to Yelling About Life, from Lessley. I'm one of the contributors, and Ross is the other one. We plan to post as random of thoughts (that's all of them) as possible, so enjoy (or not, screw you). Leave a comment if you want (or not, screw you).
Hopefully we won't run out of things to say or think, that wouldn't be good. Let's hope neither of us goes comatose.
So speaking of comas, do you think that people have valid thoughts when in one of those? I mean, I have a hard time believing that humans are capable of being empty for that long of a period of time. But you've never heard anyone talk about coma dreams. "Yeah, so I was coma-ing the other day, and I had the weirdest dream. I was naked and everyone was looking at me..."
No. That never happens.
Maybe this question is well-known in the medical community, but I'm not a member, so I don't know. If I were in a comatose state, I myself would prefer to be able to dream. But then, when you woke up, wouldn't you think you were still in a dream, since you would have such a long time to conjure up some bizarre dream world to be in? My dream world would be like Super Mario, I think.
I love Super Mario, and I miss the days of NES. Blowing in those silly cartridges.
But anyway, welcome.

The Smiths - "Girlfriend In A Coma"