A Polygamous Future

When I observe the world around me today, I see a world that is changing. "How very obvious," you might say, but our world is changing at such a rapid pace that we are finding it increasingly difficult to keep up. The wealth of information available to us is currently doubling less than every five years, and by 2020 it is projected that knowledge will double every 73 days. From this, it can be concluded that the people we are, our personalities and beliefs and hobbies, will change just as rapidly as a result. My computer tells me that iTunes has to be updated just about every month and my cell phone is outdated despite being only about a year old. With some tapping upon a keyboard and the click of a button, our sense of individual, our perception of self, can be changed on MySpace or Facebook. If we want to be someone else to others, we simply say what we are, and in an instant we have taken on a new persona. Instant gratification and instantaneous change have become the standard of our society.

Now, given this, it would seem necessary that the institution of marriage must change along with everything else. Why? Because if one person can change so fast, it is highly unlikely that their spouse will change in a similar or compatible fashion. It is also more likely that spouses are in very different environments despite being married, and will change accordingly. For example, Mr. and Mrs. Jones may be married and live in the same home with the same children, but for the majority of the day Mr. Jones works at his urban business firm. Mrs. Jones remains in the suburbs, running errands, or perhaps has a job of her own closer to their home. Mr. Jones becomes more and more like his corporate peers, but Mrs. Jones is in an entirely different environment. After five, seven, ten years of marriage they are nothing like the people they were when they took their vows.

So now what? It seems that logically (and almost tragically) that to have one spouse is both impossible and irrational. A few statistics to leave you with...

• In America, 11% of adults are currently divorced, and 1 in 4 adults has been divorced in their lifetime.
• Interestingly enough, rates of divorce for conservative Christians are significantly higher than that of other faiths (http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm).
• Baby boomers (33 to 52 years of age) - 34% have been divorced
  Builders (53 to 72 years of age) - 37%
  Seniors (above 72 years of age) - 18%
• My personal favorite: red states have a divorce rate 27% higher than blue states.

The Fall of an Empire

Would it really be so horrible if the music industry as we know it today would become insignificant and obsolete? Would it be a tragedy if the RIAA disappeared overnight? I think not. Many articles regarding this very subject have been featured in Rolling Stone in the last few months, and all seem to show the huge fall in record sales as apocalyptic. And while I understand that musicians (especially Metallica) aren't remarkably happy about losing money from record sales, there could be some benefits to this whole thing. Now before I get into my idea, I AM NOT PROMOTING THE ILLEGAL OBTAINMENT OF MUSIC. Okay, so here goes:
The year is 2015. Virtually no one buys the physical form of a compact disc anymore, because it is much, much easier to do so online in some form or another. There are still people who buy vinyl, though, because that stuff is just too cool. But anyway, since the musical artist knows this, they don't put effort into promoting the physical form of the album, they just spread the word online via MySpace, mp3 blogs, etc. The key now is promotion through word of mouth, sort of, so the money is made from live shows, merch, and promotions. I mean, that's where a band is going to make the most money anyway. And suddenly, being a successful and highly profitable musician is even harder. Thus, we have a natural selection process within the music industry, making bands even better, and probably decreasing the number of rap artists (yay!). Like we need more redundant hip-hop choruses, e.g. "This Is Why I'm Hot", "Party Like A Rockstar", "Chicken Noodle Soup". But don't get rid of TI. I like TI.

I realize this theory is flawed. Nine Inch Nails tried to promote Year Zero through mysterious internet promotion and free music for fans at shows, and I highly doubt that it was one of Trent Reznor's more successful attempts at breaking ground. Seriously, after "Closer" it was all downhill. But take indie music: doesn't sell too many CD's, mainstream society has never heard of them, but they are critically acclaimed and have rabid fans who pay money for tickets and t-shirts. Broken Social Scene, Sufjan Stevens, The Decemberists, Modest Mouse, Bloc Party, The Shins, Wilco, Arcade Fire, Bright Eyes, Sigur Ros, The National, Blonde Redhead, Spoon.

RIAA: Recording Industries Are Archaic.

The Perfect Boy

I was browsing the "blogosphere" (I hate that word, I really do) when I came upon one that listed the qualities of a perfect man:

Required qualities:
Respect for himself and others at all times
Responsible and willing to accept responsibility
Honesty: liars and cheats need not apply
Loyalty: to himself, to his relationships, to his family, and to his passions

Preferred qualities:
A man that knows when to be juvenile and when to grow up
A great sense of humor, wit, and charm (no potty or racial jokes either)
A sense of natural curiosity and willingness to learn about the world around him
Time for me: I'm not high maintenance, but I do require time to have a good relationship
He must love the valley and the rain because this is my home and I love it here
Adventure: he must be willing to go out Geocaching [what is this??] with me, hiking and exploring
No smoking, little drinking: I will not be with a drunk
Physically fit: health is important, and I like nice abs, arms, and legs
Not a slob: pick up your own damn messes, I am not your slave
The ability to dance, or the willingness to learn to dance
No temper or a very long fuse. I don't like tempers that flare quickly.
A handyman, or at least somebody that knows more about home repair than I do
Tech-savvy, artistic, and musical - bonus points for any of these three!

Boy, she really does want the perfect man. Oh, there was also the disclaimer about him being straight, and while I thought that was to be assumed, she felt it needed to be specified. It was also promised that the list be updated, but I don't see how one could "fix" it. Anyway, I thought about my list of requirements/preferences, which is shorter, more random, and more superficial, in all honesty:

1. Greater than or equal to 5 feet, 9 inches.
2. Good hair. And by good I mean suitable for them, attractive, and preferably interesting or unique.
3. Satisfactory taste in music, meaning that any boy who listens solely to one of the following will be criticized: country, rap/hip-hop/R&B, classic rock (boring!).
4. Sense of humor should be clever or witty but also immature at times. So, the occasional potty, racial, or "that's what she said!" joke, if actually funny, is welcome.
5. Open-minded politically, socially, environmentally, religiously, etc. As Ross knows, I would prefer that they agree with the idea of global warming.
6. I would agree that a willingness to dance, and therefore make a complete fool of oneself, is a requirement. No one likes a stiff. And it helps if they dance relatively well, of course.
7. Confident. This should be the number one requirement. But these aren't in any particular order, so... this particular quality covers: not following me around like a lost dog, not being possessive, not getting jealous over silly things, the ability to take initiative.
8. Ability to dress oneself sufficiently.

I can't think of anything else. But I'll think of other absurd things to demand of my potential mates.

The Time 100

Yes, I know. I haven't written in a very long time. But never fear, for Lessley is here. I just needed a post idea to come to me, and it of course came to me in an ordinary sort of place. I was in the waiting room at the optometrist, reading Time (what a splendid publication) when I came across their recent "Top 100 Most Influential People," or something to that effect. Well anyways, it was absolutely fascinating, and it was sorted into 5 groups: Artists and Entertainers, Leaders and Revolutionaries, Heroes and Pioneers, Scientists and Thinkers, and Builders and Titans. And Tyra Banks was listed as an influential Hero and/or Pioneer.

Yes, I know, it sounds ridiculous. Kate Moss was listed somewhere in there too, which I totally disagree with, by the way. I also disagreed when I saw Tyra Banks as one of the most influential people of this entire year. I watch America's Next Top Model religiously, and while it is most certainly entertaining television, I wouldn't go as far as to say that it is quality, or influential. But after some thought, because it was bothering me, I realized that Time was right. Banks was in the tabloids for being "fat" (see picture) and for having plus size models on the show. They weren't very good models, but that's besides the point. Honestly, I think that reality television as a whole is underrated. We all talk about how horrible it is, and how stupid, and why do people watch other people competing for dumb things, but we all watch it. From American Idol to Survivor (the original, I believe), Amazing Race, The Biggest Loser, The Bachelor(ette), The Apprentice, Big Brother, Rock Star: Supernova, Road Rules, The Real World, Supernanny (that's what I'm talking about!), Wife Swap (now that is entertainment, no kidding)... the list goes on FOREVER. But, all have broken ground, caused national debates, made us stay home to see the winner, cost us money in text message votes, etc. America's Next Top Model made the modeling community, or whatever, begin to recognize that their models were, oh-em-gee, too skinny. I think that's commendable, right? Survivor, in one recent season, split their tribes according to race or nationality: black, white, Asian, and Hispanic. Next, they should do sexual orientation: straight, lesbian, gay, and transsexual. Now there's breaking ground.

CAREBEARSTARE

In response to Ross's thoughts about superheroes, I must voice my personal opinion on the matter. I previously thought that Violet Parr from the Incredibles, with the power of invisibility, would be my choice (see comment on previous post). But, after much deliberation between myself and... myself... I came to the conclusion that I would rather have...

THE CAREBEARSTARE!

You have no idea how long it took to format that font. Visit xkcd.com. And, since I can't just share the excitement of pictures without deep thought to follow, I was wondering: why does society insist upon the institution of heroes? Why do humans, especially Americans, present very strong men in Spandex with bizarre powers, usually in gangs (e.g. X-Men, Fantastic Four), as being figures that we should look up to? I don't understand. It is fun to watch television shows that chronicle the adventures of these people, but why can't people just be the way that they want to be? We need the creations of Hollywood to make us say, "Wow, I want to be that"? I suppose it isn't so much a question of why we have them, as why they are the way they are. Another key feature of the "hero", as defined by my former British literature teacher, is that they have some sort of childhood hardship. This means orphan, usually. Why so far-fetched? Why can't we have Suburban Single Mother Woman With Amazing Time Management Skills? I know I want time management skills.

The world will end eventually.

I have proof of this! Visual proof! I took a photograph that I am overwhelmingly proud of. 'Tis suburban cookie-cutter America, with none other than the grand view of a factory in the background, polluting the air which we breathe. Surely there are small children frolicking in their yards, pets chewing toys, or a young couple enjoying a recently purchased home. A lush green field stretches across the land. But despite the beauty, this precious home of the human race is being destroyed. I bet Al Gore would love to get his hands on this picture!

...

Okay, probably not. Al Gore, despite his good intentions, really pisses me off. I mean, sure, it was noble of him to make Inconvenient Truth, and to spread the word of science to the ignorant deniers of truth. But for Christ's sake, we all know that a little part of Al Gore wanted to boost his political status at least a little bit. And this wouldn't bother me so much except for the fact that suddenly, Al Gore has become the spokesperson, or the mascot if you will, for global warming. Many of my Republican friends (bless their little hearts!) say things like, "It's El Niño, it's the natural way of things, and besides, Al Gore is stupid." Um, since when did politicians act as representations of ideas, of facts? Yes, Al Gore is stupid. I know. But the idea that global warming is destroying planet Earth and may put us in a neverending cycle of doom is SCIENCE. Perhaps my wording is a bit exaggerated. But anyway, politicians have nothing to do with it. I don't say things like, "God doesn't exist, that's just how it is, and besides, George Bush is stupid." No. I too would agree that George Bush is stupid, but I believe in Christianity because it seems (mostly) valid to me. You could also replace "George Bush" with "Pat Robertson". Perhaps this is a bad example, because it has nothing to do with factual information, but you get the idea. Bottom line: Make judgments on the actual issues, not based on the other people who support them.

Bienvenidos

Wow! This is so exciting! It's a blog! Our blog! Neato!
Welcome to Yelling About Life, from Lessley. I'm one of the contributors, and Ross is the other one. We plan to post as random of thoughts (that's all of them) as possible, so enjoy (or not, screw you). Leave a comment if you want (or not, screw you).
Hopefully we won't run out of things to say or think, that wouldn't be good. Let's hope neither of us goes comatose.
So speaking of comas, do you think that people have valid thoughts when in one of those? I mean, I have a hard time believing that humans are capable of being empty for that long of a period of time. But you've never heard anyone talk about coma dreams. "Yeah, so I was coma-ing the other day, and I had the weirdest dream. I was naked and everyone was looking at me..."
No. That never happens.
Maybe this question is well-known in the medical community, but I'm not a member, so I don't know. If I were in a comatose state, I myself would prefer to be able to dream. But then, when you woke up, wouldn't you think you were still in a dream, since you would have such a long time to conjure up some bizarre dream world to be in? My dream world would be like Super Mario, I think.
I love Super Mario, and I miss the days of NES. Blowing in those silly cartridges.
But anyway, welcome.

The Smiths - "Girlfriend In A Coma"