Is Having Two Times As Many Wives Okay If We Live Two Times Longer?

So this is a continuation of a conversation Less and I had that we thought would be worth yelling about.
But first I must apologize for my prolonged absence, summer tends to be an intellectual dry spell for me. Now, I'm back and ready to rant.
Now, down to business. The question is, should new world marriages be subject to or judged by old world morals?
If you think about it, it's a lot easier to uphold a vow to love and cherish your significant other when you only expect to live to 40, rather than 80.
It really says a lot that 90% of Americans believe adultery to be morally wrong, but 22% of men and 14% of women admit to having an affair. Oh thats right, I just remembered, we as Americans are inherently hypocrites.
If you are able to set aside what you have been force fed since birth, monogamy simply isn't part of the human nature.
According to the US census bureau's world population clock as of midnight Oct 18/19 (sidebar, which side does midnight fall on?) we have reached the mind boggling number of 6,625,740,431 people. Why limit ourselves to just one?
In the age when the ethics of marriage were developed, people were limited in their choices in a mate; often bound to their, or nearby, villages. Now, we can hop on planes and get to three dates, on three continents, in three days.
This is where I will leave it for now, its only fair I give Less a chance to chime in.

A Polygamous Future

When I observe the world around me today, I see a world that is changing. "How very obvious," you might say, but our world is changing at such a rapid pace that we are finding it increasingly difficult to keep up. The wealth of information available to us is currently doubling less than every five years, and by 2020 it is projected that knowledge will double every 73 days. From this, it can be concluded that the people we are, our personalities and beliefs and hobbies, will change just as rapidly as a result. My computer tells me that iTunes has to be updated just about every month and my cell phone is outdated despite being only about a year old. With some tapping upon a keyboard and the click of a button, our sense of individual, our perception of self, can be changed on MySpace or Facebook. If we want to be someone else to others, we simply say what we are, and in an instant we have taken on a new persona. Instant gratification and instantaneous change have become the standard of our society.

Now, given this, it would seem necessary that the institution of marriage must change along with everything else. Why? Because if one person can change so fast, it is highly unlikely that their spouse will change in a similar or compatible fashion. It is also more likely that spouses are in very different environments despite being married, and will change accordingly. For example, Mr. and Mrs. Jones may be married and live in the same home with the same children, but for the majority of the day Mr. Jones works at his urban business firm. Mrs. Jones remains in the suburbs, running errands, or perhaps has a job of her own closer to their home. Mr. Jones becomes more and more like his corporate peers, but Mrs. Jones is in an entirely different environment. After five, seven, ten years of marriage they are nothing like the people they were when they took their vows.

So now what? It seems that logically (and almost tragically) that to have one spouse is both impossible and irrational. A few statistics to leave you with...

• In America, 11% of adults are currently divorced, and 1 in 4 adults has been divorced in their lifetime.
• Interestingly enough, rates of divorce for conservative Christians are significantly higher than that of other faiths (http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm).
• Baby boomers (33 to 52 years of age) - 34% have been divorced
  Builders (53 to 72 years of age) - 37%
  Seniors (above 72 years of age) - 18%
• My personal favorite: red states have a divorce rate 27% higher than blue states.

Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock (!)

My excitement is just overwhelming. The speculated tracklist for 2008's GH3 is as follows:

"3's and 7's" – Queens of the Stone Age
"Barracuda" – Heart
"Cherub Rock" – Smashing Pumpkins
"Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll" – Blue Öyster Cult
"Cult of Personality" – Living Colour
"Even Flow" – Pearl Jam
"Knights of Cydonia" – Muse
"La Grange" – ZZ Top
"Lay Down" – Priestess
"The Metal" – Tenacious D
"Miss Murder" – AFI
"Mississippi Queen" – Mountain
"My Name Is Jonas" – Weezer
"The Number of the Beast" – Iron Maiden
"One" – Metallica
"Paint It, Black" – The Rolling Stones
"Paranoid" – Black Sabbath
"Raining Blood" – Slayer
"Reptilia" – The Strokes
"Rock and Roll All Nite" – Kiss
"Rock You Like a Hurricane" – Scorpions
"Sabotage" – Beastie Boys
"School's Out" – Alice Cooper
"She Builds Quick Machines" – Velvet Revolver
"Slow Ride" – Foghat
"Suck My Kiss" – Red Hot Chili Peppers
"Through the Fire and Flames" – DragonForce
"Welcome to the Jungle" – Guns N' Roses

As a self-proclaimed Guitar Hero lunatic I must give my professional opinion. First off, I have been saying that "Rock You Like A Hurricane" was a perfect GH song for a very long time, and I'm inclined to think that Activision is capitalizing off of my conversations with my brother on this matter. I'm going to sue. Second, I hate Pearl Jam and am very disappointed by the placement of such blasphemy on the tracklist. Third, AFI is an emo band and therefore NOT a "Legend of Rock" (as the title of the game promises). Not that I can't appreciate some melodrama here and there; I'm actually somewhat of a fan of AFI. It's just that alongside Guns N' Roses or the Rolling Stones, those tight pants, high-pitched wails, and girlishly lined eyes seem out of place.

But! Despite what I believe to be a few shortcomings, I'm pretty elated with the selections. "Sabotage"! "Cherub Rock"!! Muse!!! "SUCK MY KISS"!!!!

!!!!!!!!

According to Wikipedia, which is without any doubt the most correct source of information ever, Slash will be an available character in the game, but they're getting rid of Pandora and Clive Winston. That's really not very important to me, though, so long as they have Casey Lynch, who kicks virtual guitar ass. I could kick real guitar ass, if I only spent as much time practicing my real guitar as I do developing Carpal Tunnel via GH2. I am so hardxcore.

For fellow fans of Guitar Hero...

Activision Reports Sluggish Sales For Sousaphone Hero

SANTA MONICA, CA— "I played in career mode for hours and kept feeling like I was playing the same annoying circus tune over and over," complained a disappointed gamer.

Chris Cornell: Reading, PA 7.28.07

Last night I saw one of the greatest voices of rock of all time: Chris Cornell. It was a really great show, as I expected, with a whopping 24-song setlist of Audioslave, Soundgarden, Temple of the Dog, and some solo stuff. Not only was his performance great, the venue was nice too. It was at the Sovereign Performing Arts Center in Reading, PA, with very nice velvety seats. The seats are important. Quite different from the bar-like setting of the Electric Factory.


Almost as exciting as Chris's (we're on a first name basis, you know) performance was that of Earl Greyhound, the opening band. Wow. They're definitely better than the band originally scheduled, Juliette and the Hot Licks. Just the name makes you cringe, right? Well, Earl Greyhound rocked loudly, sassily (is this a word?), and in retro-amazing fashion. Think Wolfmother, Zeppelin, and some female vocals thrown into a blender. From left to right (see picture), they are Ricc Sheridan (drums), Kamara Thomas (bass, vocals), and Matt Whyte (guitar, vocals). I bought their album, Soft Targets, and I am thoroughly pleased with it. "S.O.S." starts it off right with soul-infused, ass-kicking rock... listen to it, right now.


P.S. 20th post!

harrypotterharrypotterohemgee

So. I finished the book.

And... wow. That's all I can say, as I don't want to ruin it for others, but that was the most incredible book I have ever read. Brilliant. Definitely a tearjerker, but absolutely brilliant. No movie could ever, EVER do Harry Potter justice. Though I still have yet to see the most recent film, which I've heard mixed reviews about, but still. Nothing could compare to the amazingness of J.K. Rowling. I just really really hope she writes more books. I mean, I know she's set for life, but she is too much of a genius to just sit around enjoying her wealth. Please! More!

But since there are no more Harry Potter books (sob!) I've been enjoying some wizard rock. Harry and the Potters, Draco and the Malfoys... "Save Ginny Weasley" by HATP is highly recommended. Check it out.

The Fall of an Empire

Would it really be so horrible if the music industry as we know it today would become insignificant and obsolete? Would it be a tragedy if the RIAA disappeared overnight? I think not. Many articles regarding this very subject have been featured in Rolling Stone in the last few months, and all seem to show the huge fall in record sales as apocalyptic. And while I understand that musicians (especially Metallica) aren't remarkably happy about losing money from record sales, there could be some benefits to this whole thing. Now before I get into my idea, I AM NOT PROMOTING THE ILLEGAL OBTAINMENT OF MUSIC. Okay, so here goes:
The year is 2015. Virtually no one buys the physical form of a compact disc anymore, because it is much, much easier to do so online in some form or another. There are still people who buy vinyl, though, because that stuff is just too cool. But anyway, since the musical artist knows this, they don't put effort into promoting the physical form of the album, they just spread the word online via MySpace, mp3 blogs, etc. The key now is promotion through word of mouth, sort of, so the money is made from live shows, merch, and promotions. I mean, that's where a band is going to make the most money anyway. And suddenly, being a successful and highly profitable musician is even harder. Thus, we have a natural selection process within the music industry, making bands even better, and probably decreasing the number of rap artists (yay!). Like we need more redundant hip-hop choruses, e.g. "This Is Why I'm Hot", "Party Like A Rockstar", "Chicken Noodle Soup". But don't get rid of TI. I like TI.

I realize this theory is flawed. Nine Inch Nails tried to promote Year Zero through mysterious internet promotion and free music for fans at shows, and I highly doubt that it was one of Trent Reznor's more successful attempts at breaking ground. Seriously, after "Closer" it was all downhill. But take indie music: doesn't sell too many CD's, mainstream society has never heard of them, but they are critically acclaimed and have rabid fans who pay money for tickets and t-shirts. Broken Social Scene, Sufjan Stevens, The Decemberists, Modest Mouse, Bloc Party, The Shins, Wilco, Arcade Fire, Bright Eyes, Sigur Ros, The National, Blonde Redhead, Spoon.

RIAA: Recording Industries Are Archaic.

66 Hotdogs. Oh. My. God.

Happy Independence Day! Which means barbecues and the Nathan's hotdog eating contest. This contest, as many know, is usually won by that Takeru Kobayashi guy (Japenese) who is ridiculously skinny. Well, Mr. Kobayashi, no luck this time. Joey Chestnut beat him with 66 hotdogs in 12 minutes, compared to Kobayashi's 63. Ha. Take that, industrialized Asian nation. America has trumped you once again.

I mean, sure, it is an eating contest. But that's what us Yanks do best: eat large amounts of fattening food very quickly. Krispy Kreme doughnuts, jalepeño peppers, mayonnaise, butter, spaghetti, salad - which isn't fattening, but still - the list goes on. Despite being a sport that rewards gluttony, one of the seven deadly sins, I do have a great amount of respect for eating contest participants, also known as "gurgitators", according to Wikipedia. Because, well, what goes in must come out.

Ew.

Mmpts mmpts. Rave Music!

I have found my new favorite band. They make garage rave music, and they come from the UK: Hadouken! The exclamation point is included. They've got two singles out so far, "Liquid Lives" and "That Boy That Girl", both of which make me want to dance and wave glo-sticks violently. The chorus to "Liquid Lives" clearly proclaims "I wanna drink drink drink, smoke, f*ck, fight," so you best be listening to it and watching the video for "That Boy That Girl" on YouTube.

www.myspace.com/hadoukenuk

The following description pretty much covers it, as taken from their MySpace: "They are Rage Against The Machine making evil babies with The Prodigy on a knackered Pac Man machine. They are your PSP on PCP."

Yes.

The Perfect Boy

I was browsing the "blogosphere" (I hate that word, I really do) when I came upon one that listed the qualities of a perfect man:

Required qualities:
Respect for himself and others at all times
Responsible and willing to accept responsibility
Honesty: liars and cheats need not apply
Loyalty: to himself, to his relationships, to his family, and to his passions

Preferred qualities:
A man that knows when to be juvenile and when to grow up
A great sense of humor, wit, and charm (no potty or racial jokes either)
A sense of natural curiosity and willingness to learn about the world around him
Time for me: I'm not high maintenance, but I do require time to have a good relationship
He must love the valley and the rain because this is my home and I love it here
Adventure: he must be willing to go out Geocaching [what is this??] with me, hiking and exploring
No smoking, little drinking: I will not be with a drunk
Physically fit: health is important, and I like nice abs, arms, and legs
Not a slob: pick up your own damn messes, I am not your slave
The ability to dance, or the willingness to learn to dance
No temper or a very long fuse. I don't like tempers that flare quickly.
A handyman, or at least somebody that knows more about home repair than I do
Tech-savvy, artistic, and musical - bonus points for any of these three!

Boy, she really does want the perfect man. Oh, there was also the disclaimer about him being straight, and while I thought that was to be assumed, she felt it needed to be specified. It was also promised that the list be updated, but I don't see how one could "fix" it. Anyway, I thought about my list of requirements/preferences, which is shorter, more random, and more superficial, in all honesty:

1. Greater than or equal to 5 feet, 9 inches.
2. Good hair. And by good I mean suitable for them, attractive, and preferably interesting or unique.
3. Satisfactory taste in music, meaning that any boy who listens solely to one of the following will be criticized: country, rap/hip-hop/R&B, classic rock (boring!).
4. Sense of humor should be clever or witty but also immature at times. So, the occasional potty, racial, or "that's what she said!" joke, if actually funny, is welcome.
5. Open-minded politically, socially, environmentally, religiously, etc. As Ross knows, I would prefer that they agree with the idea of global warming.
6. I would agree that a willingness to dance, and therefore make a complete fool of oneself, is a requirement. No one likes a stiff. And it helps if they dance relatively well, of course.
7. Confident. This should be the number one requirement. But these aren't in any particular order, so... this particular quality covers: not following me around like a lost dog, not being possessive, not getting jealous over silly things, the ability to take initiative.
8. Ability to dress oneself sufficiently.

I can't think of anything else. But I'll think of other absurd things to demand of my potential mates.