Mmpts mmpts. Rave Music!

I have found my new favorite band. They make garage rave music, and they come from the UK: Hadouken! The exclamation point is included. They've got two singles out so far, "Liquid Lives" and "That Boy That Girl", both of which make me want to dance and wave glo-sticks violently. The chorus to "Liquid Lives" clearly proclaims "I wanna drink drink drink, smoke, f*ck, fight," so you best be listening to it and watching the video for "That Boy That Girl" on YouTube.

www.myspace.com/hadoukenuk

The following description pretty much covers it, as taken from their MySpace: "They are Rage Against The Machine making evil babies with The Prodigy on a knackered Pac Man machine. They are your PSP on PCP."

Yes.

The Perfect Boy

I was browsing the "blogosphere" (I hate that word, I really do) when I came upon one that listed the qualities of a perfect man:

Required qualities:
Respect for himself and others at all times
Responsible and willing to accept responsibility
Honesty: liars and cheats need not apply
Loyalty: to himself, to his relationships, to his family, and to his passions

Preferred qualities:
A man that knows when to be juvenile and when to grow up
A great sense of humor, wit, and charm (no potty or racial jokes either)
A sense of natural curiosity and willingness to learn about the world around him
Time for me: I'm not high maintenance, but I do require time to have a good relationship
He must love the valley and the rain because this is my home and I love it here
Adventure: he must be willing to go out Geocaching [what is this??] with me, hiking and exploring
No smoking, little drinking: I will not be with a drunk
Physically fit: health is important, and I like nice abs, arms, and legs
Not a slob: pick up your own damn messes, I am not your slave
The ability to dance, or the willingness to learn to dance
No temper or a very long fuse. I don't like tempers that flare quickly.
A handyman, or at least somebody that knows more about home repair than I do
Tech-savvy, artistic, and musical - bonus points for any of these three!

Boy, she really does want the perfect man. Oh, there was also the disclaimer about him being straight, and while I thought that was to be assumed, she felt it needed to be specified. It was also promised that the list be updated, but I don't see how one could "fix" it. Anyway, I thought about my list of requirements/preferences, which is shorter, more random, and more superficial, in all honesty:

1. Greater than or equal to 5 feet, 9 inches.
2. Good hair. And by good I mean suitable for them, attractive, and preferably interesting or unique.
3. Satisfactory taste in music, meaning that any boy who listens solely to one of the following will be criticized: country, rap/hip-hop/R&B, classic rock (boring!).
4. Sense of humor should be clever or witty but also immature at times. So, the occasional potty, racial, or "that's what she said!" joke, if actually funny, is welcome.
5. Open-minded politically, socially, environmentally, religiously, etc. As Ross knows, I would prefer that they agree with the idea of global warming.
6. I would agree that a willingness to dance, and therefore make a complete fool of oneself, is a requirement. No one likes a stiff. And it helps if they dance relatively well, of course.
7. Confident. This should be the number one requirement. But these aren't in any particular order, so... this particular quality covers: not following me around like a lost dog, not being possessive, not getting jealous over silly things, the ability to take initiative.
8. Ability to dress oneself sufficiently.

I can't think of anything else. But I'll think of other absurd things to demand of my potential mates.

The Time 100

Yes, I know. I haven't written in a very long time. But never fear, for Lessley is here. I just needed a post idea to come to me, and it of course came to me in an ordinary sort of place. I was in the waiting room at the optometrist, reading Time (what a splendid publication) when I came across their recent "Top 100 Most Influential People," or something to that effect. Well anyways, it was absolutely fascinating, and it was sorted into 5 groups: Artists and Entertainers, Leaders and Revolutionaries, Heroes and Pioneers, Scientists and Thinkers, and Builders and Titans. And Tyra Banks was listed as an influential Hero and/or Pioneer.

Yes, I know, it sounds ridiculous. Kate Moss was listed somewhere in there too, which I totally disagree with, by the way. I also disagreed when I saw Tyra Banks as one of the most influential people of this entire year. I watch America's Next Top Model religiously, and while it is most certainly entertaining television, I wouldn't go as far as to say that it is quality, or influential. But after some thought, because it was bothering me, I realized that Time was right. Banks was in the tabloids for being "fat" (see picture) and for having plus size models on the show. They weren't very good models, but that's besides the point. Honestly, I think that reality television as a whole is underrated. We all talk about how horrible it is, and how stupid, and why do people watch other people competing for dumb things, but we all watch it. From American Idol to Survivor (the original, I believe), Amazing Race, The Biggest Loser, The Bachelor(ette), The Apprentice, Big Brother, Rock Star: Supernova, Road Rules, The Real World, Supernanny (that's what I'm talking about!), Wife Swap (now that is entertainment, no kidding)... the list goes on FOREVER. But, all have broken ground, caused national debates, made us stay home to see the winner, cost us money in text message votes, etc. America's Next Top Model made the modeling community, or whatever, begin to recognize that their models were, oh-em-gee, too skinny. I think that's commendable, right? Survivor, in one recent season, split their tribes according to race or nationality: black, white, Asian, and Hispanic. Next, they should do sexual orientation: straight, lesbian, gay, and transsexual. Now there's breaking ground.

Friends Suck!

Anyone who knows me has probably heard of my friend Hilton at least once, I've known and worked with him for years and he is currently our kitchen manager.
I say currently because I found out Friday night that he is quitting! This wouldn't be the first time something like this has happened but the previous two times he has decided that he was going to leave I was the first to know and things were different.
Now he's got a girlfriend that is just ruining his life but he's in love with her so he won't admit that she's bad news.
The thing that bothered me most was that i hung out with him for about two hours on Thursday and he didn't say a word about quiting then tells my dad that he's planning on leaving Friday. This is the guy that I went on the best vacation of my life with over spring break and knows me better than anyone, yes even you Lessley, sorry.
I have been to bat for him countless time and I had to be told something like this by my father.
I have been burned by people I thought to be friends many a time so it takes me a while to let down my guard down but I never thought that Hilton would hurt me.
It makes you wonder whether or not you can trust anyone in this world.

Displace Me Pics

Yay! I have my displace me pics up on photo bucket so if you want to see them, go to the following link but not right here, further down

No Safe Place

Okay so I was going to write about the events of this weekend, but as I was logging in, a story came on the television that I can't ignore.
As Lessley probably knows by now, a kid warming up for baseball game on Saturday at Canal Little League fields was touched inappropriately.
Now this may not seem that out of place to most people but I used to live right next to those fields and it just so happens that I was there on Saturday.
And before anybody gets the idea to make a stupid joke, the guy was between 28-38 and driving a big pickup truck with lettering on the side. Anyone who knows me knows that I drive a tiny mini cooper and I have no side burns.
But back to the point, I have two issues with this, A) is no place safe & B) where were the parents.
A) I lived literally next door to those fields not two years ago and I have known for years that that is far from a safe place. I had people try to mug me twice while I was walking through there to or from People's Plaza, I saw countless people with prostitutes in cars, condoms and needles strewn across the ground, drug dealers doing business, and even discovered a car being torched after being involved in a murder once. Why is it that in the five years that I lived there and the two years since, no one figured out that there was a problem. I know that it can be hard to help these things but how hard could it be to have a cop or people's plaza security officer do a drive through once an hour or so. Peoples plaza bought or is in the process of buying it last i heard so they should be willing to help. Don't you think some kind of authority presence would deter incidences like this.
B)Now it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you wouldn't drop your kid off at an inner city park for a few hours so why would you do it at a park that is just as bad because it was in the suburbs. The kids are obviously safe when parents or coaches are around but its not the kind of place I would like to be alone and I'm fairly capable of taking care of myself.
Anyway, I just think that his is a terrible thing that shouldn't have happened, and I'm extra concerned because I grew up around those fields.

Happy Earth Day!

Would you look at that? It's Earth Day! And I thought that there was no better way to celebrate than to bombard you with my 100% organic thoughts about global warming, war, and the idiocy of the American population.

1. I've decided that I am going to start recycling. I never did before, mainly because I thought it would take too much time and effort. But after driving by a landfill on the way home from the King of Prussia mall, and smelling the delightful odor that accompanied it, I decided that I need to do my share to help out Mr. Earth. And you should too! Start by recycling all of your Red Bull cans (Ross...).
2. I'm in a serious mood to go to some kind of protest or march or picket or something. If anyone knows of some kind of organized protest that I attend, let me know. Because in today's world, there's a whole lot of complaining going on, but no one seems to want to do anything about it. I want to do something about it. Stupid people bitching about the war: "Blah blah blah President Bush sucks, I don't know why I think that, but he does, and I'm now going to show my patriotism by sitting on my lazy American ass and doing nothing." Come on people, if you don't like it, do something about it! Many people complain about the government, but don't vote. I bet more young people vote for American Idol than for government officials. More people take time out of their day to vote for Sanjaya Malakar than to actively participate in democracy. And that's stupid.
3. WHY DO PEOPLE DENY GLOBAL WARMING??? It's happening. Face it. Stop Global Warming. Buy a bracelet. Also, check out Simple Shoes, they're made with natural products! I think I'm going to get myself some of these.

Okay, that's all for now. And happy Earth Day.

A Video To Save The World

So anybody who knows me knows that I got completely sucked into the whole Invisible Children hype, hence the banner on the right, but it never really occurred to me how completely it could change someones view of life.
So I finally got a copy of the video from Anna last week after the showing in the auditorium and watched it again in its entirety. BTW, for those getting tire of focusing entirely on IC, watch the video again and you will understand. Anyway, they give you two copies of the video so that you can share it with those who don't know, that's exactly what I did.
I loaned it to Hilton, my friend from work, yesterday and he watched it after I left. Today when I saw him at work, both he and his girlfriend were pretty pissed at me.
They weren't mad that I made them watch it, they were mad that I hadn't showed them sooner. They actually apologised for any complaining they do about their lives, it is hard to complain when you compare your life to that of the IC. (Don't worry, I'm not going to stop complaining, then you wouldn't have anything to read.)
Anyway, after watching it once, Hilton wants to have a showing in the Smyrna opera house to help raise money. I have been toying with the idea for a while but I need a Smyrna contact our age to get people to actually show up.
He also wants to go to Displace Me, but since I'm already off, he has to cover the shift.
And before anyone asks, he's constantly broke so he can't donate any money. He still owes me sixty bucks.
So yeah, that video can change the world. If you want to borrow it, let me know, I'd be more than happy to share.

CAREBEARSTARE

In response to Ross's thoughts about superheroes, I must voice my personal opinion on the matter. I previously thought that Violet Parr from the Incredibles, with the power of invisibility, would be my choice (see comment on previous post). But, after much deliberation between myself and... myself... I came to the conclusion that I would rather have...

THE CAREBEARSTARE!

You have no idea how long it took to format that font. Visit xkcd.com. And, since I can't just share the excitement of pictures without deep thought to follow, I was wondering: why does society insist upon the institution of heroes? Why do humans, especially Americans, present very strong men in Spandex with bizarre powers, usually in gangs (e.g. X-Men, Fantastic Four), as being figures that we should look up to? I don't understand. It is fun to watch television shows that chronicle the adventures of these people, but why can't people just be the way that they want to be? We need the creations of Hollywood to make us say, "Wow, I want to be that"? I suppose it isn't so much a question of why we have them, as why they are the way they are. Another key feature of the "hero", as defined by my former British literature teacher, is that they have some sort of childhood hardship. This means orphan, usually. Why so far-fetched? Why can't we have Suburban Single Mother Woman With Amazing Time Management Skills? I know I want time management skills.

If I Could Be A Super Hero...

Okay, so I've been a bit lazy lately, but I'm back.
As you may have noticed, the blog is now better than other.

So anyway, I was thinking today(I know, shocker), if I could be a super hero, which one would I be?
The Superman is awesome, but its so overplayed.
Aquaman is pretty cool too. I mean he can talk, and breath, under water, and talk to fish. I bet they could tell you some pretty crazy stuff. He never gets the respect he deserves.
Spiderman is alright, I mean it makes good movies, but the powers seem to come with entirely too much drama. Its the love story that no one would want to be in.
And nerds world wide would shed a tear if I didn't didn't mention the X-men. Just about any mutant above a class three would be worth having their powers, except for the toad. You have got to feel sorry for that guy.
Personally, the slightly lesser known normally challenged are my favorites. Painkiller Jane and Jake 2.0 are both really strong and heal insanely fast, but Jake gets his powers from nanites, so he can control technology too.
I'm still not to sure, but I think its between Gene from the X-men and Jake.